Ten Good Things About My Hip Replacement

1. I can jump out of my chair when I'm surprised or excited.
2. I can rise to greet guests without wincing and falling backwards back into the seat.
3. People seem to act amazed, and praise me, when I perform simple tasks like getting up and down stairs by myself.
4. I have something to talk about with others who have had hip replacements, which seems to be a surprisingly common procedure these days.
5. I'm forced to exercise, and that's healthy, even though I'm only exercising one leg.
6. I have a handicapped parking permit, although a fat lot of good it's doing me since everyone in the entire rapidly-aging baby boom generation seems to have one now.
7. I already have lots of the equipment (walker, crutches, cane, grabber) that I'll need for old age.
8. I could run marathons or go ballroom dancing if I wanted to, which I most certainly don't, but I could, which is the important thing, even though I won't.
9. I got $50,000 worth of medical services for about $450, which makes me feel like I've beaten the system somehow.
10. I still have one of my original hips, in case I'm ever feeling nostalgic.